Evolution was my word for 2013 because on so many levels I longed for change. Whether I realized it at the time or not, that meant I was unreservedly open to transformation. In hindsight, I recognize that because of that, I was also willing to allow for the kind of open-ended time, space and discomfort (yes, it can be quite uncomfortable) that it would take to let that happen. And so, for what ended up being over a year-long stretch, I committed to I make room for something that I felt would come, regardless of the fact that I couldn’t picture it at all. In other words, I had no idea what I was waiting for. But my truest-self trusted that something was coming—although more often a question than a statement—and that I didn’t need to know what it was. Therein lies the uncomfortable part. But, I did my best to settle in and reconcile all my thoughts and feelings by holding on to the belief that “it” would eventually reveal itself; that elusive thing that comes, from slow, steady—sometimes painstaking—growth. I felt just like the little boy in children’s book The Carrot Seed must have felt. Waiting. Waiting. And more waiting.
And here I am a year later, sharing this story, here, at the place I was waiting for. THIS is what needed time, space, and faith to grow. Although, I would never understate the hard work it’s taken, for me, the most difficult part wasn’t the “work”. It was the uncertainty. It was not knowing what was evolving under the surface, before anything sprouted. And yet, just like with the young boy’s carrot seed, something finally came up; something amazing, authentic and alive. Just like I knew it would.